Humility: The Master Key to Opening All Doors

You can't communicate with pride. The only key that opens the door of communication is humility. - Pope Francis

This is a quote from the book A Future of Faith: The Path of Change in Politics and Society authored by Dominique Wolton. Pope Francis met with Dominique Wolton on many occasions and this book is a compilation of those meetings. The Pope elegantly reminds us about the key to communication: Humility. In fact, humility is the key to many things in life.

I've always loved the idea of humility. I love hearing Matthew 23:12 as a reminder of humility: Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted. One definition of humility I like is this: A quality by which a person considering his own defects has a lowly opinion of himself and willingly submits himself to God and to others for God's sake. Humility takes many forms, but I wanted to focus on communication in this post.

We should always try to be humble when dealing with things in our lives - situations, people, emotions, etc. The common denominator of humility should help us recognize that God is everywhere; that God is present in every part of our lives; that we should have humble hearts until the day we die.

Though humility, for a long time, has been my favorite trait to look for in other people, I recognize that I have not always been humble myself. There was the usual hubris from a teenage boy you might expect (and admittedly even flowing in my early 20's). I was stubborn to see others' points of view. I wasn't mature enough to recognize that communication was more about listening than speaking. I didn't have a heart that humbly understood my place in relation to others. I simply had too much pride.

The aspect of having a low opinion of myself and a willingness to submit myself to God and to others for God's sake was not where it should have been. Even now, I sometimes recognize that I should submit myself to God more willingly. After all, God has said that the humble will be exalted - shouldn't that be enough?

After many years of slow transformation, I think I have finally gotten a good grasp of that idea - that I should be submitting myself to God and to others, even strangers, for God's sake. I have learned that in many cases, taking the time to pause and reflect on "what Jesus would do" or in actuality, what God wants me to do, helps me to have a humble heart. When we take the time to pause in various situations in our lives and give ourselves time to think, we can actually use that time to humble ourselves by trying to figure out God's will for us which is actually very simple - follow his commandments, love Him, and love one another.

So as I continue to work on my humility, it strikes me deeply that God's will for us during this Black Lives Matter (BLM) era is to understand one another better - to communicate and empathize with one another. Pope Francis said it very plainly years ago for all to know: The only key that opens the door of communication is humility. We can't expect to understand the protesters in the BLM movement unless we can hear them with a humble heart. Our black brothers and sisters are asking for equality and we as people of faith should do our part to give it to them in every way we can - after all, we must love our neighbors. It's as simple as that. You know what love is - you know what God expects of us.

Let's all do better by understanding our (often unconscious) biases and realize that our black brothers and sisters have had it rough for the past few decades. They have been hurting for a long time. The vast majority of them want very reasonable things, but ultimately, they want equality. The first thing on this path is to admit that there has been an issue with equality for many decades, that it still exists, and move on from there. Many people are still on that first step - in denial - but I sincerely hope that you are not one of them. If you are, I ask that you pray to God for the grace to listen more and understand our brothers and sisters with empathy.

With love,

Mr. K

P.S.

As an aside, have you ever wondered about communication and how we come to understand one another? Do you ever get frustrated with someone you love (your spouse, kids, siblings, parents, etc.) because they don't hear you? For the twentieth time you've told them something important but they fail to hear you and understand you. What are they doing when you talk to them? Are they paying attention to you? Do they think you're crazy when you get angry at them? Have you ever been so angry you destroyed something in your own house? Put your hand through a wall? Good communication hinges on good listening on both sides. That alone can move us toward solutions faster than you can imagine.

For over HUNDREDS of years our black brothers and sisters have suffered that neglect - of not being listened to and not being fully understood and subsequently, not being treated fairly. How can we possibly be surprised that they're angry?